Ask the EBF Cast
by Kribies
Summary: A little diversion where you can ask the characters questions! Please read the General Rules before doing anything.
1. General Rules

General Rules

1\. Please submit questions as a personal message to the author. The review section is for reviews only! If you ask something as a review, it will be answered. Just try not to clog the section up.

2\. You can ask as many questions as you want. However, please don't do something ridiculous, like asking ten questions in a single day. Other people want to ask, too!

3\. Do not use foul language or inappropriate content in questions. Let's keep this at PG-level.

4\. Shipping questions are fine, but a little variety wouldn't hurt. Ask questions that are out of the ordinary! Have fun!

5\. None of the characters in this fanfiction are gospel (that's up to Kupo707). Interpret them as you wish.

6\. There will be more characters soon, but we are only accepting submissions for **Matt, Anna, Lance and Natalie** at the time.

7\. Please submit your question in the following format:

**Your Name**

** To:**

** Question**

Thank you!


	2. Ask Lance

**ThatStupidAnimeFan asks:**

**"Dear Lance, what happened to your eyepatch?"**

That is a interesting question. Before I explain why it is gone, I should clarify how I have received it.

A few years ago, a blast of intense energy devastated North Primus (Matt told me that a zombie created this, but I dismiss that as a rumor). I will not elaborate on all of the details, but I arrived to investigate. I resolved to seek whoever did this and rid the world of this criminal by any means necessary.

You may find this motive hypocritical due to my – ahem – "track record." You know about the proverb of "drastic times."

Before I started my mass search, I had to appear photogenic as an opponent. After all, statistics reveal that...uh...a photogenic competitor will receive 35% more support than one who is not, yes. I settled on a black uniform and an eyepatch on my left. Sure, this made driving the Valkyrie Tank irritating, and it indirectly stuck me to using sniping guns with my right arm. Sure, my left eye would become sensitive for a month after I joined the "party." At least I looked appealing...in a statistical way, yes.

As you probably know, I joined Matt and Natalie after I was beaten...twice. After this, Natalie strapped me of my eyepatch and uniform. I believe she said something along the line of "being a tryhard" that day. Well Natalie, although I am grateful of you, I doubt that you know about the statistical advantages of eyepatches-

Stop snickering, Matt.

What do you mean by, "you just wore it to look cool"? I will have you know that an eyepatch gives the bearer a statistical advantage in combat over-

"Prove it"?

Well...

Uh...

...

**MudkipgurlXD asks:**

**"Dear Lance, was your mother a spy or a ninja?"**

It's funny that you ask that.

I heard that my mother dreamed of being a doctor one day. Scratch that, she wanted to be the next Patch Adams one day. She always believed she was destined to be some kind of miracle healer, as astronomy said or something like that. She refused to go to medical school because it was a brain-washing department of "the system." I cannot say that she was very talented, either. Our family did not have the funds to afford her wild dreams, which is why my father always tried to "smack some sense into her." It wasn't like my father was any better, but that is another story.

The whereabouts of my mom, I have no idea. Maybe she's preaching her free love to a slime. Maybe she's still trying to be a doctor, after she left fifteen years ago. She must not be getting very far.

I never considered my mother very grounded. But if there's one thing I admire about her, she's tough. You may think running away is cowardice, but to not giving up on your dream for fifteen years, you have to have courage, guts, and unprecedented ambition. It is something admirable, really. She reminds me of a friend of mine.

Wait, what was the question?

Oh, right. She wasn't either.

_Gods, this is so mushy._


	3. Ask Matt

**mudkipgurlXD asks:**

"**Dear Matt, do you like Natalie?"**

Of course I do.

We kind of got on a bad start, I admit. I don't know why all my best friends tried to kill me, but that's a whole 'nother story. We got along pretty well after Brawl Royale, and she hasn't left me since.

Yeah, Natalie can be a bit...clingy. I remember when I had to carry her across a river full of octopi and all these other nasty fish. Of course, none of them could scratch this bod.

Anyway, it must be how we've been together for years or something, because she's not letting me go on adventures alone. Then again, it's nice to have someone watch over you, especially if it's a medic like Natz. She's kind of the glue that keeps our team together. Plus she's fun to mess with.

But I'll tell you someone who really likes Natz: Lance. _A lot_. You should see him when he's trying to put the moves on Natz. Poor man's too distracted by lust to notice how stupid he acts around her.

No Lance, it's true. Everyone knows it.

"It's for her personality"?

Man, just stop.


	4. Ask Natalie

**MudkipgurlXD asks:**

**"Dear Natalie, what exactly do you cook? What do you eat?"**

Oh, I wish I could cook. It's not any lack of skill, but what could you possibly make from pumpkin slices, cheese and bacon?

Every day we just go to wherever's the nearest store, buy twenty-something burgers and pizzas and leave. Matt insists I live off this diet but I know for sure the rest of my party will become balls of lard if I let this go on. Anna seems on board with some more healthy options and Lance doesn't really care, but every time we try to convince Matt he makes a big speech about HP recovery and how fatness is an imaginary statistic created by Cuupohgames Enterprises or something (don't take this the wrong way, Matt).

I swear, I'm the only one concerned about how food is produced in this country. I wouldn't go back to drinking potions, but for how big this continent is couldn't someone sell at least one good carrot? Or is there some kind of private...enterprise...

...Does Matt's crazy-talk have some truth in it?

...

Nah.


	5. Ask Anna

**MudkipgurlXD asks:**

**"Dear Anna, were you running the shop in EBF1?"**

That's my grandpa.

It's a long story.


End file.
